| 6.4.2013

6 Shockingly Evil Things About Sales [Ryan’s Rants]

Are you one of those a$$holes who thinks all sales people are evil? It’s not true! Much like any other industry, sales has it’s bad apples. That doesn’t mean all sales people are evil. Where would we be without sales people? How would you know what was cool and what where the best products to buy? We need sales people. Just because a few of us can be D!cks, don’t hold that against the rest of us.  

You probably read this head-line thinking I’m going to teach you some evil, underhanded schemes which sales people use to take your money, didn’t you? What I’m about to share with you is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you would expect. I’m going to share with you the evil sh!t customers do to sales people to treat us like shit!

Allow me to point out the evil that happens to us.   I’m tired of hearing about what happens to the consumer when they are unhappy. They shout out rude names, make bad reviews on social media sites and anything they can to cut down a sales person. And most of the time the sale went bad due to lack or effort/info on the customer side.

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Customers treat us like sh!t sometimes but we don’t have websites to go and talk about our experiences with bad consumers now do we?   So for once, I’m going to stand up for the sales community and point out some evil sh!t that customers and prospects do to sales people that is just down-right F’n wrong. If you do any of the following items to a legitimate “value adding” salesperson you were an a$$hole to them. You may not have meant to be one, but it is what it is none the less. Consumers need to be called out for these actions and maybe things will change  .

Evil Things about sales #1: The “Be Back”

If there is any one type of bullsh!t response I absolutely hate about being in sales, it’s the unfulfilled commitment of the person who says “I’ll ‘be back’ to buy your stuff” and they never show up. Not that any of us salesmen are dumb enough to base our budgets on this bullsh!t, empty promise, but it is annoying because sometimes you actually believe them. But you are almost always let down. If you tell a salesperson you’ll be back, then BE BACK dammit! If you don’t want their stuff, have the balls to tell them. It’s not like we are here to hurt you if you don’t buy. What the hell are you afraid of?  

Evil Things about sales #2: The “No Show”

Look, I don’t know how busy your work and home life is, but I can tell you mine is jam packed all day every day. I’m very methodical about my scheduling and I’m very protective of my time, if you miss and appointment and no show on me, it pisses me off to no end. I get invited to events, lunches, trainings and everything else and I have to turn them down on a regular basis. When I do book at time with a person to meet either on the phone or in person, I intend to friggin meet ’em. Quit standing salespeople up! If you can’t meet them tell them ahead of time. Like when.. you know, this last minute shit don’t fly either.  

Evil Things about sales #3: The “Ghost Lead”

It costs us money to generate leads. It costs us money to create the technology to get your attention to generate those leads. And some people wanna sign up to get all the free info but only give you fake info. Now I know what you’re thinking “Ryan, I don’t want BS spam all the time” so if you are worried about that, don’t sign up in the first place. Newsflash: if you fill out a form online, there is a human somewhere that wants to make sure your needs are taken care of.  

Evil Things about sales #4: The “Broke Bragger”

Eventually everyone gets found out. You can’t tell sales people you make a sh!t ton of money and when they ask you to buy, you say “I don’t have the money.” Who do you think you are? A US Government Official? You can’t lie to a salesman and get away with it. We will eventually call your bluff and that sh!t can be embarrassing. When talking with a sales person keep it real at all times. Funny how that works huh?  

Evil Things about sales #5: The “Accuser”

Social Media has really changed things when it comes to the consumer b!tching about their personal bad experiences. They can now call you out on social media and really damage your reputation. It’s one thing to accuse a company of something. It’s another to accuse the sales person working for that company? Sales people, for the most part, don’t build stuff you buy. We simply market and sell the goods you buy. Stop accusing us of shit that is out of our control.  

Evil Things about sales #6: The “Dodger”

Why in the hell do people fill out contact forms, call in to the office or email and then disappear? What the hell is really going on here? This has always baffled me. You reached out to me and now that I’m returning your contact, you have vanished from the planet. Look, we are not dumb, we know you have your phone on you. Have some balls and pick it up. If you have to tell us to “F off” then do so but at least tell us so we can stop chasing you. Salespeople are here to help you make an educated buying decision. If you don’t want what they have then tell them.  

I’m sure you can see a lot of these Evil Things go hand-in-hand. I’m even guilty of doing some of these at one point or another myself, so you’re not alone. We can all be in a “mood” from time to time and slip, but try to make it your focus to be nice to sales people. After all, without a sales person, you wouldn’t have a job. I don’t care what you do, there is no job for you, without a sales person behind it at one point or another.  

The bottom line here: Be Nice to Legitimate Sales People. Especially if you reached out and engaged them first. You started it by asking for help, don’t get all bent out of shape if the help is offered to you. Rant over…

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