| 11.5.2014

Bondage, Whips, Social Media Psychopaths and How To Sell Your Shit

Stick with me here and you’ll see how it all ties into several powerful lessons you will learn. Assuming you have the stomach to keep reading the words I’m about to lay down on this bitch. If you’re into fluffy talk and someone to say “It’s ok.” then this will definitely be your least favorite chapter in this book.    

I’d be willing to bet you come from bondage. Not necessarily the cuffs and chains type of bondage, but for sure mental bondage. We all have it. SHIT. Shit from our past that we continually bring with us to our present. The present is just that. A PRESENT. If you can’t enjoy the time you have right now, you’re missing out on a great gift.  

Just to prove we all have it and it doesn’t matter, allow me to share a story of bondage with you. It’s going to be hard to believe some parts, but I promise you, every minute of it is the inarguable truth.  

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One of the first memories I have as a kid was my very first day of kindergarten. First off, I had been coming to the school as a kid to play on the playground with my family since birth basically. I had warm fuzzy feeling about how awesome school would be, just like every other 5 year old in 1985.  

That all changed within about 3 hours…  

I was an only child and at the time the only grandchild on my mom’s side of the family. Needless to say I was pretty used to getting my way. After morning activities, the teacher took us kids out to the playground for recess. On the playground there were old tractor tires that were stacked on top of each other to make a makeshift fort.  

I’d managed to climb to the top of a stack of about 8 tires and climb down the hole in the middle of them. You know how it is as a kid. Everything you can make a fort out of is badass and exciting.  

As an only child, I was not exactly used to sharing my things. When one of the other kids, whom I didn’t know, climbed down the tires to meet me, I was pissed. I slapped the kid and told him to get out of my fort.  

Immediately the kid bailed out of the tire-fort and ran straight for the teacher. Fucking tattle tales… Anyways, my aunt was my teacher and my other relative was the principal. For the record, I lived in a country ass Texas hick town of about 1400 people. We were basically all related.  

Because of us being related, my teacher had wide open permission to spank my ass if I got out of line. About 4 hours into my first ever day of school, she did just that. FUCK!!! Talk about bondage.  

First off, I’d never been hit with a wooden paddle. That shit not only hurt, it really broke my spirit. I was so offended deep inside. Yes, I slapped the other kid, but violence can’t be answered with violence and expected to work. Regardless of intent to work or not, the teacher busted my ass.  

The only lesson I learned from that whole experience was that I now hated the same place I had dreamed of one day going to. School. At 5 years old I had a nemesis and it wasn’t a person. It was an institution. That one experience put me in bondage for the next 12 years.  

The spanking didn’t keep me from fighting. It didn’t keep me acting like a good boy. It fucked me up in the head and I acted out in school a lot. They said I had a behavior disorder. They took me to Doctors. They had parent teacher meetings. None of it mattered, mbondagey one duty was to make school as hard on my teachers as my first teacher had spanked me that first day of school.  

To make matters worse, around 3rd grade my mean ass step dad adopted me and my last name changed. I’ve always been ALL-IN so when I was adopted (long story for a later book) I changed my middle name too. I left 2nd grade Ryan Russell McCord (feels weird just typing it after all these years) and walked into 3rd grade as Ryan Keith Stewman. Now the kids were making school just as hard on me as the teachers were. Bondage.  

I quit school the day I turned 17 and got my GED the very next day. I had a job lined up as an electrician. In Texas the summers are the construction season. It’s also 105 degrees every day in the Texas summer. Put the two together and you have hard ass, hot ass work. That work paid about $13/hour though. In 1997 at 17 years old that was good money. Especially with over-time.  

Soon as I turned 18 I left home to run the streets and ended up sleeping at random friend’s houses before I could get my own apartment. Needless to say we did quite a bit of partying and drugs. Hell I even took up part time work as a drug dealer. I sold a little coke and weed to make extra cash until one day I got fired.  

Getting fired sucks. I had no backup plan and now a red X on my electrical career. But I did have the ability to sell some blow to make ends meet until I could get on somewhere else. Like any dumbass, young, entrepreneur that’s exactly what I did. I sold the shit out of it. Until that one night I tried it.  

It killed me…  

Talk about bondage! I did one line of cocaine and it fucking killed me. We’re talking ambulances, shocker paddles and the whole fucking gig. I was a dead man. Literally. I’d like to tell you I saw a light, but the scary thing is that I saw and remember nothing. I don’t have any answers from the other side. Sorry.  

When I woke up and was revived back in the hospital, I had handcuffs on. I was officially under arrest for slanging rocks. I was charged with a felony 1 crime and sentenced to two years hard time in a Texas penitentiary. I won’t bore you with the details but it sucked. Talk about bondage.  

After I was released I got a job at the car wash my mean ass step dad managed. I was a complete felonious loser. I was 21 years old and handsome or not, I was societal waste. No one hires a felon. No one trusts a drug dealer until they need drugs. In my mind, I was a slave to having a shitty, low paying life.  

That all changed when a customer who came in regularly offered me a job in the mortgage industry. Even when I explained the felony, GED and white trash equation to her, she was still willing to give me a chance. It was the first break I had ever received in life. I’ll be dammed if I was going to let that lady down.  

I went to work for her slanging mortgages. She trained me up and only asked me to make sales for her in exchange. She took me shopping and introduced me to a whole new lifestyle. Within about a year I was earning 6 figures and was a leader in her organization.  

I bought a home, cars and had cash in the bank still. After accumulating all these “things” I was offered a gun by my stepdad. Like a fucking idiot I took the gun. I thought I needed it to protect myself from home invasion in my $400k home in Allen Texas. FML what an idiot I was. Bondage.  

One day I shit you not, the local police kicked in my door on a tip that I was a felon with a gun. I’m pretty sure an ex girlfriend turned on me. I got a special way with women, I tell ya. I was arrested and the case was escalated to a federal level. I went from making 100s of 1000s of dollars a year to being invaded and locked up by the ATF.  

It was mind blowing. Especially since I’d cleaned up and was living a legit life. Well sort of. I mean I did drugs and slept around but I wasn’t selling dope. As luck would have it, the pen was in my future once again… 15 more months in a federal facility this time.  

When I got out this time I swore I had to change. I wasn’t sure what to change, but change was needed. I read books, did Tony Robbins courses and had landed a job at the biggest private mortgage bank in Texas. I’d closed my way up to top producer too. I was fucking crushing it.  

Then 2010 and something called “Dodd Frank” happened. Because of my two felonies, I could no longer originate loans for the bank. I had no job. It was like losing my electrical job again. My boss didn’t want to let me go. They tried to give me fancy titles and shit but I didn’t want to take any risks. We ALL know who the finger would be pointed at if shit went wrong. Bondage.  

I took to the internet world which was not anywhere near as easy to make cash on as all the products I bought claimed. FUCK. I was losing my confidence and my savings quickly. The bondage was catching up to me.  

I had to reassess my life… What was there to assess? I had two felonies, been barred from the only industry I belonged in, and was basically back to being a white trash loser. I had to make a move quick and I had to make one legally without getting a job that required a background check.  

I tried it all. MLM, Biz Op shit, random gunslinger sales jobs but nothing fulfilled me the way mortgages did. All this time I had been using sites like facebook, youtube and linkedin to find odd jobs and people who needed my help. Which led me to have this huge AH-HA moment.  

What if I could make money from facebook somehow?   It sounded too good to be true. I mean, I had made money from facebook already but how was I going to really make money from it? How could I do what I had done 100s of times in a shorter period of time? I had no fucking clue but I was on it.  

On a side note, I guess I should mention that I never gave up smoking weed. I’m kind of too high strung to get off it. Trust me, you want me stoned. The reason I say this is I’ve had my best ideas under the influence and this was no exception. Legalize it people…  

I knew that if I was going to do this I needed to get help. I needed a mentor. Someone who could put me together so to speak. I found these two guys who were totally polar opposites. Frank Kern was this internet millionaire surfer guy. His business partner Kevin Nations was this uptight suit wearing smart guy. They were nothing alike but combined they had major genius power and the answers that I needed.  

After borrowing money from my in-laws to pay Frank and Kevin, I dove into an 8 week training course they taught. I got help from them and a business plan I could actually work. Now all I had to do was get customers…  

The only logical place I could think of to get customers was from facebook. Hell, if I was going to tell people they could do it, I needed to prove I could do it myself. That’s how everyone should be but only a rare few are. A true leader has done what you do and did it well. Posers and hosers can kick rocks.  

I offered to run people’s facebook pages posting 5 times a day for only $100/month. My ex-wife (yes #3. bondage) and I wrote posts for up to 70 people 5 times a day. It was exhausting but it was a learning experience too. I had an up close look at how different people reacted to different people in different social settings 5 times a day on up to 70 accounts. Combine this with the whole two times in prison learning experience and I had a PHD in psychology.  

Since then I’ve built a 7 figure consulting business in the real estate niche, one of the hardest niches to profit in. I’ve told you such a long background story in order to preface what I’m about to share with you regarding business and marketing.  

Nothing matters that happened before right now.  

Now let’s talk business. I’m sure you’re like “ok Ryan that was a cool story but it won’t make me any money.” and that’s ok. I feel you. My story will make you money but ONLY if you take action on the stuff I’m about to share. My strategies require actual work. That YOU have to do. Just so we are clear.  

If you want to attract perfect customers and close them into giving you money in exchange for you solving their problems, I got you. Let me teach you something I call “The Whip Effect”  

You see, everyone on facebook is a psycho. While most of us ARE bat shit crazy, in this instance psycho doesn’t mean they are But they can be ;-) Once you understand that each person on social media sites like facebook, are their own psycho, you can better connect with them.  

Too often times people attempt to do business with just any psycho. That’s never a good idea. Some of us psychos are just not made to go together and for whatever reason, we try to force nature. You don’t have to. Facebook has made it to where we can all connect with only the people we want. You are now part of a select group of likeminded psychos. Congrats!  

We all have bondage and we all are psychos. You can all go home now. Lesson’s over. lol. Seriously though, we all have issues. Most of us also have corporate jobs where we repress our personalities. We can’t have tattoos, can’t cuss on our social media and wouldn’t DARE talk about that time we went to jail. But we crave an outlet for it. WE NEED to talk about it, but can’t. I’m convinced that’s where cancer comes from….  

If you’re able to MAN THE FUCK UP and start conversations others won’t, you will attract the customers others don’t. Controversial topics create engagement on social media. All these psychos with bondage are running around with no way for them to connect and engage on the things that are eating at them.  

It can be political. You can surf sites like reddit and the “today I learned” section for stories and content to share on facebook. The stories you see on the net that grab your attention, are the same topics people want to discuss. In the past you had to wait until a friend called you or you met in person to discuss pressing topics. If enough time went by, a topic just never got discussed.  

You can now become the voice of the psychos!!! Sound appealing? It is. It’s very appealing because psychos need someone to believe in them and they will pay for you to solve their problems and help them. You can sit back with your coat and tie on and never become a voice, or you can BE who the fuck you were meant to be and fight for your peers that can’t fight for themselves.  

But first, you got to attract them. For that we use the Whip Effect. Once you’ve grabbed your controversial content from wherever, you post it on facebook. Not just some stupid web link either.  

Let me give you an example: Say you were in real estate and you were surfing forbes magazine and saw your city was a top 10 “best place to live” city. Instead of just sharing the link and saying “yay” or “I sell here if you need me.” Leave the link out of the post and do something like this;  “I just read in Forbes that Plano, Texas was the #1 city in the USA for schools and parks. I’ve lived here for 34 years and I’ve seen it grow so much. I’ve sold 1000s of homes here and made millions of memories.  

One of my favorite places is the old Queen of Hearts magic shop downtown. What’s your all time favorite spot or memory about Plano?”  

This post has multiple things going on here. First I referenced an authority on information, Forbes. I’m also demonstrating expertise in the 1000s of homes sold, lived here 34 years part. Then last, and always last, I’m asking a question. I’m asking anyone who reads this post to engage if they want. Guess what? It works and the more people who engage, comment, like and share you post, the more people see it. That’s what we call “going viral”.  

The whip effect works like this. You make 3-4 personal posts that engage people to each post about your business. You increase your engagement by talking controversy, arguments, pictures of your family, animals or funny shit. All you’re trying to do is post about 4-5 times and get people to chime in. Harmless posts that engage.  

After they engage and start to see your posts in their newsfeed on a regular basis, you occasionally slide in the “buy my shit” post. You just whip it in there right in the middle of your controversial posts. Your audience engaging is earning you permission to market to them. It’s earning you the ability to take a commercial break in their newsfeed.  

You’re going to have to be extremely strategic about this practice. if you post 6 times a day all within a 10 minute period, nothing you post is going to be relevant. You will bogg down their newsfeed and they will witch hunt you down. Space your posts out 1-3 hours apart.  

You may not know it, but there are 5 social media prime-times. I’ll give you a quick breakdown of when they are and who’s on at that time.  

PRIME-TIME Spot #1 “Early Riser” 5am-9am   The Early Riser spot is a prime-time slot that I fit into. This slot is for the people who wake up, check email, facebook, their calendar, and everything else before they get their day started. As soon as the Early Riser gets up, they are checking email messages and facebook with their coffee or whatever. The Early Riser knows that when he/she gets the day started, there will be no time for playing on facebook.  

PRIME-TIME Spot #2 “Employee/Stay At Home Mom 9am-12pm   This time period consists of mainly employees and stay at home moms. Studies show that stay at home moms are more likely to surf facebook in the morning times. This is a quiet time for the SAHM and gives them the ability to have a little fun on social media before they are caught up in running the house for the day.  

As far as the employee goes, this is the time when a couple of things are happening. Thing #1 is that the employee is driving to an office somewhere. As much as it pisses me off, people surf facebook and drive. Thing #2 is the typical employee will get coffee, turn on a computer, surf around and waste the first 30 minutes of every workday. You and I both know that facebook takes up a good grip of that 30 minute time period. That’s why many companies have facebook blocked. But everyone has smart phones so what good does that do?  

PRIME-TIME Spot #3 “The Foodie” 11am-2pm   Remember back in the good ole days of facebook when you could take a picture of your lunch and everyone would like and comment on it? This still happens on a regular basis. People are known to surf facebook to see what their friends are doing for lunch. Because of this trend many people have got accustomed to checking facebook before they go to lunch. This primetime slot is also a time when people are standing in line for lunch. We can all admit that we ALL stare at our phones while we wait in any line. Americans will do anything to avoid eye contact with strangers these days. This is a great time to make sure your posts are mobile friendly.  

PRIME-TIME Spot #4 “Afternoon Delight” 3pm-6pm   This spot is the #1 most heavily trafficked time on social media. This is the primetime of prime-times. The people surfing during this time slot are mostly made up of two groups. Group one is the employees that have finished work early for the day and are killing time before they leave. The second group is the people all over the USA sitting in traffic. I hate to say it, but the numbers don’t lie. It also is a quick time to check social media again before a person goes home to their family for the evening.  

PRIME-TIME Spot #5 “Finisher” 6pm-10pm   This spot is for the folks who make sure everything is all in order before they call it a day. The person who is making sure all their loose ends are tied up before dinner time. The person that makes sure all their tasks are completed before going to bed for the night.  

I personally fit into the “Early Riser” and “Finisher” spots, so if you are posting on social media trying to get a person like me’s attention, and you are posting at 10am everyday, I will never see a thing. I’ve got too much work to do during the day and I rarely have time to check social media once my day begins. But bet your ass, I’m on it first and last thing every day. What slots do you fit in? What slot is your best prospect most likely in?  

After you use my whip effect method to engage people on your personal profile the next thing is to get them on the phone. Yes the dammed phone. Best app on ever is the one you make calls with. When someone expresses interest in your services or products send them a private message and set up a specific time to talk with them.  

Be sure to remember this about any sales call though. Telling is not selling. If you ain’t listening they will be distancing. Sales calls are about you asking questions and the prospect doing 80% or more of the talking. A good salesman is nothing more than a solid fact finder.  

You might be thinking you’ve never heard that before. You may be missing sales left and right because you talk to fucking much. I couldn’t give you a powerful way to attract prospects without giving your some questions to ask them that will give you a good chance at closing them. I’m not writing this to leave you hanging.   Here are 7 powerful questions every salesman should use in each sales conversation.  

These questions provide clarity and possible word traps for you to be able to SHOW your prospects how bad they need what you are selling.  

What made you decide to reach out to me? This gem of a question never let’s me down. Esp if you work with inbound and internet leads. One of the hardest things to do is to get another human to make a decision. Most folks are so fucking indecisive it’s killing them. And they don’t even know it. When you get them to answer this question, subliminally they are admitting they already made a decision. Use the momentum and press forward.  

If everything works out perfect according to YOUR plan, what does the outcome look like? This question holds a lot of power too. Once a prospect or client answers this question in detail, they’ve pretty much told you everything they need done to be able to buy from you. If you can provide the same outcome as the one they described, you got a good chance of getting them to buy from you.  

What is your end goal in working with me? How many salesmen do you know that lost a deal last minute due to not being crystal clear with their prospect/client? I’m sure you know a lot of them. In any sales transaction you need to understand what the client wants out of the relationship. This question also allows you to reinforce and provide more clarity when asked right after “If everything works out perfect according to you plan…” The more clear you are up front on what it is they want from you, the more likely you are to deliver it to them.  

How much effort are you willing to put in to accomplish this result? No one likes lazy clients. No one wants to do all the work and the client not help out either. It’s important to sniff out lazy prospects. Once they become a client it’s too late. If you sell something that is going to require effort from the client, like coaching, consulting etc.. you need to prescreen them. The last thing a good salesman wants is the blame for a bum client.  

Have you tried to fix this before? If so, what did you do and how did it work? This is the perfect question to find out if they have tried to do something alone or with one of your competitors. Obviously the reason they are with you now is the problem still exists. Find out what they did that hasn’t worked and half your job has already been done for you. What to avoid goes a long way. You can also use this question to show them how they fucked it up alone and need your help now.  

How bad do you want to solve this problem you have? Motivation is a must. If a client is only ho-hum about getting their problem solved, you can expect they will be ho-hum about the solution you provide too. If there is work required on the client’s end and they could give two shits about his problem, you will find yourself with a whole new problem too. Eliminate the non-motivated clients first. Those guys suck.  

Would you like my help solving your problem? The ultimate close! Of course they want your help. You have to make them an offer in order for them to ask. Or you can just ask the above question. After you give your pitch. After they understand everything you can do for them. That’s when you close and ask if they want you to solve it. When they say “yes” you simply give them the amount it cost and ask them can they get started on a definitive date. Don’t leave a closing statement broad. Go specific each time.  

You can use these 7 power questions as a template to write your next script. You can modify the wording in these questions to fit your style as well. No matter what you do, you must ask questions. People don’t like to be told and sold. They like to make an informed buying decision. A good salesman’s job is to lead them to that decision.  

So now, assuming you’ve read the book this far, you’ve got some serious info to digest. Let’s take a recap on everything before I turn you over to the poor guy who had to follow behind this chapter in the book.  

We are all psychos with bondage. I don’t care who you are, you have baggage. Divorce, adoption, bankruptcy, dropout, prison, drugs and more are included in mine. I don’t let that shit hold me back though. Not because I’m a badass, it’s because I know people out there like maybe you, need my help. You need me to be the voice for you. To take the bullet for you. I’m willing to do that. All from a place of love. You should love your prospects enough to be that for them too.  

The whip effect is the process of posting 3-4 times about personal and controversial content that will engage your audience and usually starts with your opinion and ends asking for theirs. In between all the cool and fun posts you insert a commercial post for your business. You whip your business post into their newsfeed with permission. The permission comes because of the engagement you’ve received from them in your other posts.  

If you’re going to make more sales you’re going to ask more questions. Selling is not telling and you must draw the need out of your prospect. They already know you want to make a sale. Show them you want to do more than that. You want to help them solve their problem. Problem solvers get paid baby!!!  

We all have a history, bondage and common connection with each other. If you’re not using that to your advantage you are missing out on working with some of the coolest clients you could ever imagine. Once you’re in a place that you are able to come out and be up front with everything and be the voice, you gain unlimited power. That power translates into attracting leads, closing sales and building long lasting relationships with awesome people who pay you.  

If you’d like to know more about me, or even become one of the awesome people who pays me, I’d love to meet you. You can find my blog, facebook page and everything else at www.ryanstewman.com let’s connect. I want to hear your story.  

Oh and if you do decide to work with me (assuming we’re a fit) you won’t regret a single fucking minute of it. I’m 1000% dedicated to getting results for my clients. 

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