You may not know this but I’m one of the foremost experts in the world when it comes to divorce. After all, I’ve survived three. I’m not proud of it but it happened and I’m still standing.
Most if not all of my friends who’ve worked alongside me in sales have been divorced too. Sales is an awesome career but outsiders, and even our spouses, often don’t get our obsession with it.
Sales isn’t a job where you just work a 9-5.
Matter of fact, if you’re only working between the hours of 9-5 you prolly aren’t making much money in sales.
Since we pay so much time and attention to our jobs, our spouses often feel like they take a back seat to our careers. No significant other wants to be in second place. Ever.
Sales is a demanding job. We risk a lot for our commission checks. We get up early. We go to bed late. We stay out, conducting meetings. Some of us are on airplanes daily.
We live in our offices and call our house “our second home.” I’ve pretty much got everything I need in my office in case I have to pull an overnighter, which I’ve done more than once.
Since we spend so much time dedicated to our job, it causes our spouses to question our dedication to them. Then, when they confront us, we get sensitive because they are trying to come between us and our jobs.
Our spouses rarely understand our passion.
They can’t figure out why the hell we focus so much time and effort on a job. But to us, it’s not just a job. It’s a way of life. A calling. An itch we must scratch.
I’ve looked back at my three divorces and reverse engineered where I fucked up. I’ve put some fail-safe measures in place that now protects me from losing it all in divorce over a job once again.
The biggest thing I learned that cost me past marriages, is that I didn’t pay enough attention at home. I never cheated. I never stole. I didn’t abuse anyone. I just didn’t give attention to the one person who married me for it.
Knowing that lack of attention at home is what causes most sales pros to get divorced, I found a way to fix this and it’s worked perfectly for me for five years now. (Yes I’m on marriage #4. I’m a Closer, what can I say?)
Once a week my wife and I go out on date night. No kids. No friends. No work. No phones. Just two people in love, spending uninterrupted time together for several hours per week.
There are no exceptions with date night either. If we are tired, we still go. If we are busy, we still go. If we are mad at each other, we still go (and the makeup sex is always good!).
This shows my spouse that I love her enough to put everything aside and spend my time and attention with her every single week. We’ve done dinner dates, escape rooms, concerts, events, and even seminars together for date night.
I also had a long discussion and set expectations with wife #4 before we said: “I do.”
I explained that work came first and it will consume most of my time. More time than anything else. I travel, work long hours and more.
I also told her this is my life’s calling and I can’t NOT do it. It’s in my DNA and I have no choice. I also let her know that if work comes first, it’s because it’s the source of money that pays for everything else, including date night.
Setting those expectations and doing a weekly date night has changed marriage for me. We fight less. She feels loved more. And we genuinely respect each other more for setting and abiding by boundaries.
If you struggle at home, the GCode is one thing that can help you focus on being a better spouse. You can take the 0 to 100 challenge and create a habit that will save your marriage. Go to https://gcode.phonesites.com to take the challenge today!
