Challenge me if I’m wrong, but most of the failures we experience in life aren’t a result of our lack of preparedness.
It isn’t a tactical strategy we didn’t know about or anything situational that is the real cause of failure. Most of us fail because we find that we didn’t really want what we thought in the first place.
Whether it’s your job, your business, or your marriage, you fail when you stop.
Why is it that we spend so much time experiencing a life that leads to failure instead of deliberately planning a life that leads to success?
A lot of us spend our lives doing so much for others that we cheat ourselves. From a young age, we are taught that our hopes and dreams aren’t as important as those around us.
Our parents didn’t know how to treat each other right, so they certainly didn’t know how to show us what it looks like to love, encourage, and nurture balanced relationships.
We learned that we could be the selfish asshat or the one who gives everything and asks for nothing in return.
As we grow up, we start giving to our spouse, our kids, and our customers hoping that they will love us for our efforts, when often they just expect more.
If Not Now…When?
We often use that as fuel to justify a life of martyrdom that keeps us weak and powerless. It can make you look like a meek, mild-tempered, passive-aggressive person…but it can also make you rage like the chest-pounding asshole too when you’ve decided you’ve tolerated enough.
I’m not here to psychoanalyze you, and honestly, I’d suggest you don’t waste any time trying to do that to yourself or anyone else either. Not that it isn’t helpful, but I’m not qualified, and quite frankly, you probably aren’t either.
Why not instead, take the time to do what simply works, and get busy doing the ONE thing that will get you on the long journey of a life well-lived?
I want you to do a quick exercise for me to get a little perspective. Find a tape measure and pull the tape out until you find 78 inches.
Lock the measure, so the tape stays out, set it on the ground, and look at the numbers. Count up until you find the number that correlates with your age.
For me, I’d be on 46″ because I’m 46 years old. All you have to do is find that number and look at how far away it is from 78.
If the average life expectancy of a man in the western world is 78 years, I’m more than 1/2 way to that number by the tape measure.
So, where do you fall on the tape measure? Regardless of where it is, I want you to know that you won’t have any more tape to play with at some point.
So what is it that you really want with the time you have left?
One of the most powerful exercises I’ve learned is to invest early in the morning with “think time.” During this time, I work on my <G>code.
I write down what I’m grateful for, my wins for yesterday, accountability for my fitness, and what lessons I learned. I also take it a step further and ask, “What I really want is:”
I focus on getting really clear about what an ideal life looks like for me. I don’t worry about how I’m going to do it, I don’t worry about how silly it sounds, and I don’t focus on anyone else’s feelings or wants.
This is MY time to talk to God like Santa Claus and put my list down. Funny thing is it may start with stuff…but the more time you invest in the exercise, you’ll begin to uncover what really fires you up.
You’ll find what you’re willing to relentlessly pursue regardless of the roadblocks that present themselves.
Most people in life don’t have what they want because they don’t know what they want. Here’s a simple and effective strategy to find what you really want…I promise when you do the how will begin to show up.
See ya’ in the trenches!