The Intention of Your Words vs the Reality of Your Actions

Posted on March 24, 2014

Ryan Stewman



This one might strike a nerve, so if you’re a weak-ass person don’t read this. It will only piss you off. Sometimes self-inventory does that to folks. Maybe that’s why so many people don’t take self-inventory. Most of them are too busy trying to blame/fix others.    

You fucking talk too much! Yeah, that’s right. I said it. It needed to be said. You go around telling motherfuckers how you are doing this and that. How your life/biz/marriage is greater than ever. It’s not reality though. It’s a false reality that ONLY YOU seem to believe exists. The rest of us can see right through it.  

You say you are getting shit done but are you? You tell us about the hustle and grind but we see you wake up at 10am every day. You tell us that you have all these things going on but we can’t see any of it. It’s all in YOUR head. To you, everything is going full steam because you’ve convinced yourself it is. To us, we see that you talk a lot of shit but never back it up.

This hurts your sales game more than you could ever know.

When you tell your clients you will do something for them and then you end up postponing and apologizing for not delivering, they know. That sneaking suspicion they had when you closed them the first time, was true. They knew better and now you just proved them right.

This. Right here. Is where ALL your referrals are lost.  

You may not even feel the pain because ignorance is bliss but trust me if you’re not getting referrals from ALL of your clients, they know. They know you talk too fucking much and don’t back your claims up.  

The days of the over-promiser and under-deliver-er are gone. Thanks to yelp, social media and the interwebs, you will be exposed. People will tell their story and you will lose out on referrals. The worst part? If people tell the Internet you suck, you lose a ton of Internet referrals. It’s only a matter of time before someone files a report somewhere that ranks #1 on Google when people search you.  

I get it. When you made the promises you had every intention of delivering. You wanted these things to fall in order and your prospect/client to be ecstatic with your services. Or did you lie to yourself about the whole process? You see, if you knew what you were offering and promising was not feasible, then why the fuck put your reputation, your company’s competence and your client’s hardship on the line? So you could make a few dollars? C’mon man…  

If you don’t care for your clients more than you care for yourself, you will lose out in a BIG WAY in this modern social media economy. You might say that’s really hard to do. I say it’s really easy to do. You just have to know how to do it. Let me share some tips with you.  

It all starts with client selection.

One of the best decisions I’ve made in my personal career is to not take on just anyone with money as a client. These days in order to work directly with me, you must pass through two layers of resistance in the form of my other clients pre-screening you.  

I operate this way for a few reasons. Reason one is I know myself. I know I’m always hungry and always want to help everyone. I also know my style is not for everyone. Since I know this, I put blockades in place. For myself and the potential clients I take on. The best part of this is that they get a chance to meet other members before they become one. I’m never asked for references. If I was, I’d tell them they’re not a fit anyway. Talk is cheap.  

It’s not easy to be highly selective about who you take on. Just like it’s not easy to make sure your words align with your actions as much as possible. If I make a promise or claim to a prospect, you better believe I keep that shit. As far as I know, I’m the only coach out there willing to hit the phone for my crew. They know this and because if it, I’ve never had to. My Tribe knows I’m more committed to their success than they are.  

Let me give you an example. When a client comes on board with me, the first thing I tell them is they MUST DO everything they ask their referral partners to do. How can you tell someone something works if you’re not doing it yourself? More than anything else I’m teaching authentic leadership. I’m teaching a crew of people to do EXACTLY what they say they do.  

If my LOs go out and tell agents they can generate leads by posting on Facebook, yet the LO is not regularly posting on Facebook, how can the agent believe them? There is no demonstration of results from the person making the claim. When your words and actions don’t line up, you are fighting more objections beneath the subconscious than you could know.  

If you’re a social media expert and you tell people they need to be creating videos and posting them to Facebook, yet you don’t have any videos, people will question your worth and integrity. Lack of integrity is a HUGE deal killer. All we’re ever trying to do is gain a client’s trust and if you blow that, you can kiss referrals goodbye.  

If your words and action are not in alignment and you are not earning/living as much as you’d like to be, it’s time to take self-inventory. It may hurt but look at it like surgery. It’s painful to recover but feels way better in the long run.  

Quit focusing on just making a sale. Focus on showing up big for your clients and keeping your word against all odds. This drives up your confidence and ultimately leads to you having everything you want. You attract it because you’re in alignment with your words and actions. If you want some help, reach out to Let’s talk about how I can help your words and actions line up.

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