Little Head and No Lead

Posted on April 13, 2021

Ryan Stewman



๐“๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž “๐ฆ๐ž๐ง” ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I had the privilege to be raised by 3 distinct men. Each is a badass in their own right, and each took time to teach me what it’s like to be a man.

I was also primarily raised by my Mom, which means I had a pretty good dose of the feminine perspective.
I can now see growing up as a Gen-X’er allowed me and my entire generation to take part in a transition of power, authority, and rules to operate successfully in life.

It’s neither good nor bad. It just is. Like Billy Joel said, “we didn’t start the fire,”…
Although we had ABSOLUTELY zero control over the tides of men and women, I believe we are the last generation to truly see the old guard of patriarchy submit to a more tenacious leader.

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐›๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž, ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง, ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐›๐ž๐ž๐ง ๐ญ๐š๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐›๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐š “๐ฆ๐š๐ง.”

Don’t get me wrong either, there is no judgment or demonizing here, only an awareness of a truth that I see people talk around, shy away from, or just flat out ignore while they rage about some other “NEW” atrocity that to me, stems from this transition.

I celebrate your individuality, your race, sexual orientation, and your personal belief systems…

Because, quite honestly, I haven’t walked in YOUR shoes. I have no idea what you’ve experienced and why it’s shaped your opinions.

This post isn’t about that.
This is about the fact that men are perplexed as to how to be a man.
It’s about my clients, my employees, and even my friends who ARE men and clambering to find a way to be strong as steel and soft as velvet.

Honestly, I’ve taken a long time to find the path (and still working on it) that does help me be a fully integrated man in today’s world.

Here are my 3 tips that I follow and teach my clients to find success and peace while climbing to their dreams:

1) ๐ƒ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ’๐ซ๐ž ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ…๐๐„๐‘๐ˆ๐Ž๐ƒ

It’s so easy to sluff off the blame on someone else!
It’s so easy to make an excuse.
It’s so easy to fall from integrity and justify in your mind that it just doesn’t matter.
I’m here to tell you that YOUR WORD is all that you have in this world.

If you want to be a REAL MAN, make good on your word…down to the nitty-gritty f’in details of the INTENTION as well as the person’s viewpoint of your intention.

If “they” misinterpret, OWN THAT TOO…it means that you have not fully owned the conversation, who you’re talking to, and WHAT the result you intended for them is.

It isn’t easy, but it’s simple.

2.) ๐–๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง “๐ง๐จ”, ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ ๐ข๐ญ.

Men today are too afraid of saying no. In fact, they’re so damn scared of the fallout and browbeating that they’ll skirt around the issue too often and end up turning a molehill into a mountain.

If your REAL ANSWER is “NO,”…say it, dammit. Stand your ground, deal with the consequences with integrity and quit leading people astray with your half-truths or rambling story because you’re too chickenshit to face the pain.
Remember, NO is a complete sentence. You don’t OWE anyone an explanation unless YOU choose to give it or you’re breaking your integrity with them.

3.) ๐’๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ง ๐ข๐Ÿ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ’๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐š๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ž.

You’re going to be tested your entire life. Tested to see if you really believe what you believe. Trust me, the bigger you believe in something that rings true to your heart, the more you’re going to be tested.

The world forces do not want you to stand out, stand up, or DO ANYTHING to disrupt mediocrity.
You may start with a gaggle of people…but at some point, you will be alone. You will have to ask yourself, “how badly do I want it.”

You will be required to decide what being a man means to you.
You also DON’T need anyone to validate you.
If you have tested your resolve AND have come to the belief that it is YOUR truth, STAND in YOUR TRUTH.

I say this because I am raising MEN and WOMEN. At home, in business, and amongst my tightest circle of friends.
Our businesses help MEN be better men AND women be better women.

I would love to hear your thoughts below.

Until then,
I’ll see YOU in the trenches.

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