Reasons Why You Should Bribe, Extort and Force Your Clients into Gangs

Posted on February 28, 2014

Ryan Stewman



You know what’s universal here on Earth? Crime! You know crime pays or everyone on the planet wouldn’t be rushing to commit one 3 times a day on average. Yes that’s right in America alone, we break the law at least 3 times a day on average. 

  We speed, jaywalk, and fail to come to a complete stop every day, just to name a few. In the year 2013 there were over 40,000 new laws put into place in the USA alone. How the fuck can we even know what’s a crime these days? I don’t have time to read 40,000 laws in a year, do you? If I were to guess, I’d guess our political leaders didn’t read them either. Nuff about that though…

If you’re gonna break the law, you might as well make it count right?

  One of the cool things about being involved in a new technology that’s still in the infancy stage is the rules haven’t been created to squash free thinking and innovation with that technology yet. Social media is a technology still in that infancy stage. The rules that apply in other areas of marketing and business don’t necessarily apply on social media.   For all intents and purposes please don’t read this headline and assume I’m telling you to break the law. I’m not a lawyer nor do I fucking like most lawyers. If I were you, I’d only take my advice while under the influence of heavy doses of drugs. That way you can blame it on the drugs and not take personal responsibility.   With that out of the way now let’s get to the real crime. The real crime is that you have a wide open, global marketplace waiting to buy that awesome thing you sell and you’re not selling to them. Back in the day a businessman could only work his local market. While a lot of businessmen still think this way today, you don’t have to.   There’s nothing wrong with a little bribery in my book. Well at least not with bribing the marketplace. You might run into trouble if you try to bribe a cop out of a speeding ticket or something. The public is a different story. They love bribes. Hell they live on ’em.   Want a prime example of a bribe the public loves? “Buy one get one free.” The best marketing bribe ever. Each and every time you or any other business on the planet offers a coupon, bonus or any other type of incentive to buy, it’s a bribe.   Why do people offer bribes? Because they fucking work!!! Last week, I bribed 5,000 people into saving $20 on one of my digital products. They not only took the bribe, they thanked me for it and offered to give my bribe to their friends. Bribes are powerful.   Maybe it’s time you created a strong bribe for your marketplace. They will take it. Maybe not all of them, but a bunch of them. It’s human nature to feel good when we get away with something. Getting a little bribe is good for the soul.   When we think of the word extortion, we think of henchmen running up in a NYC restaurant breaking things, telling the owner they can fix the problem with the guys who keep breaking his shit for a few bucks a month.   It doesn’t have to be this way. Extortion, just like bribes, can be a good thing. One of my favorite go-to sales moves for my Hardcore Closer Tribe is the “extortion close.”   The “Extortion Close” goes like this: Listen sir, I know you say you are not interested in my offer today. I get it and completely understand. I do however, want you to know that I am going to leave here and go directly to your competition and make them the same, maybe even a better offer. This doesn’t die here. I AM going to take over your marketplace and if you are not with me, your #1, #2 all the way to #10 competitors WILL be with me. The decision is yours. What’s next?

Now that’s Gangster!!!

Now that you’re basically in a gang with people who you’ve extorted and bribed, you’d better turn it up a notch wiseguy. You might as well take those same criminals with you into your latest Racketeering venture. That’s right, since they took a bribe you can now extort them into helping you even more. Who said crime don’t pay? [this blog post is fun lol]   If you have a bribe or a straight up offer to make, why not engage your gang in helping you spread the word? Go back to all your past clients and everyone who’s really happy with what you’ve done for them and then bribe them to share your message all over social media.   Gangs work together to protect each other and their territory. A good gang leader should be able to get the rest of the crew to help spread your word. Gang members love bribes and they love recruiting people just like them. In this case, there is no need to do a drive-by for initiation, a share on facebook that gets at least 10 likes will let you in ;-)   We all know this a funny spin on serious shit. Crime is a universal thing but for the most part, crime is bad. I’m not telling you to break the law. All I’m doing here is a reframe on how you think about certain words.   If you’d like to build a “Family” of tough guys and girls who will go in the trenches for you to help you spread the word about your business hit me up. I can teach you how to build a bind with a crew so strong it will never break. I can also teach you how to get that crew to work their ass off for you. Because you work your ass off for them.


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