Sex, Lies and the TRUTH About Sales

Posted on April 07, 2014

Ryan Stewman



Let’s talk dirty!!! Look; no one told you that you’d be hated once you became a salesman. Being in sales is like being a hooker. Everyone wants what you got, but they feel embarrassed when they have to go to YOU to get it. You don’t have to feel cheap though. Plenty of hookers make big money.

While you’re reading this, let’s just put it all out there. Sales is hard as fuck. I know some asshole out there is saying something like “I swing a hammer for a living, talk is cheap.” They only say that because they can talk. If they could, they sure as hell wouldn’t be swinging a fucking hammer for a living. Being an effective salesman, or as we call them “Closers” is not for pussies.  

You not only have to be sharp witted, you’ve also gotta have enough confidence to ask the questions and say the things that most won’t ask or say. Then, when you have the courage to ask the questions, you have to withstand the wrath of that person who wants what you have, yet feels the need to act as if they don’t in some sort of effort to conjure a sense of self preservation or some shit.  

At the end of the day this is mentally exhausting. The brain controls the body. When the brain is beaten, the body is exhausted as well. Most Closers spend more energy pacing the floor, yelling on the phone, typing, texting, running down the hall and all the other shit we do as rituals of our craft than people give us credit for. Most salesman are thin and good looking, they’ve gotta be doing something to keep in shape. That something – is selling.  

Speaking of good looking, I’m pretty sure people in sales get laid more often too. My thinking behind this is multi-fold.  

First: Sales people are super persuasive so we tend to get what we want more often than the average man. As a man the thing we usually want is sex. IDK a single effective salesman that don’t get laid as he sees fit.  

Second: Chicks dig confidence. We can all agree the best salesmen have big time confidence. When you can use text or spoken words to ask for big time checks, it’s pretty easy to ask a girl to dance or even to go home. And if they say “no” as salesmen we know it’s “on to the next one” like any other form of prospect.  

Third: Don’t forget the money. There’s no such thing as a successful and broke salesman. You can be one or the other, but ya can’t be both. Success in sales means one thing – money. For Closers that money buys nice cars, good threads, a phat crib and the best service anywhere we go. Chicks really like everything I’ve listed in this paragraph. #score or if you’re Jordan Belfort, you just spend the money on hookers.  

Here’s the truth about sales: The shit ain’t easy. It comes with a BIG price. You’ll lose friends along the way. Your family will avoid you. You spouse may hate your work (or my case my phone) The list goes on and on. People will be REALLY REALLY jealous of your success. Hate that you drive nice cars and live in a nice crib. Above all that, it’s your job to keep positive and push on. Stay in the fight more than anyone else. It’s the Closers way.  

Allow me to simplify…  

…If you think that after watching the Wolf of Wall St and Boiler Room that you’re just going to jump in the game and earn major bank, you are sadly mistaken. That’s not even how shit works in sales. There’s a reason both of those movies end with FBI agents. Most salesmen spend years learning a real product. We master every objection because we’ve heard them 100s of times. Sales is a personal development course with a pay plan attached to it.  

Next time you’re in the presence of a salesman treat him with respect. The shit you see on TV is only about 1/3 true. Respect the fact that he’s there to serve you so he can provide for his family. Also keep in mind he could probably take your girl from you too, if you’re a dick. Just sayin…


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