You Can Be Right or You Can Win

Posted on August 11, 2020

Ryan Stewman



How many damn times have I been in a situation where the person I’m talking to is misinformed…AND talking at me instead of to me? 


How many times did my ire get jettisoned at the EXACT wrong moment, and I blew any chance of recovering from what I said?


See, these are questions I reflect on because life seems to throw people who have money, power, and “strategery” when I’m merely trying to do the best I can. I wonder if you can relate?


Over time, I’ve come to see a pattern, and I want to share it with you so that you might learn something that helps you close more “sales.” Bear with me for sharing a story:


I remember being 20 years old, and I was dating a girl who was a little headstrong. 


Man, we’d gone through the wringer for a couple years, but I had decided that I was a committed dude, and I was in for the long haul. 

You Can Be Right or You Can Win

One day, her family was invited to go bowling, and I was ecstatic to go because “heavy balls, throwing at shit, crushing things, etc.”


Her Mom, sisters, and even her uncles were there. Everyone was having a good time…but she and I…well, we had a Lil’ competition going on. 


It was the 3rd round of bowling, and we were in the 8th frame. We were tied, and it was her turn to bowl.


 As she bowled, one of her uncles came up to me and said: “let her win, it’ll be better for you.”


So, I did. My next roll, I gently rolled it toward the gutter. She clapped and laughed.


Quick breath on my part…so the second ball I rolled to hit 2 pins on the end, and she applauded cheerily.


She rolled her 9th shots, and I stepped up and rolled 2 gutter balls in a row.


She said, “you’re doing that on purpose!”


“No, I’m not.”


She rolled her 10th frames…


I came in last.


She ran to me the moment I finished and immediately began to gloat.


I’m telling you…it was the hardest thing NOT to say to her that I could have done better. It was such a pain in the ass to listen to her tell everyone that she kicked my ass…it really was.


Yet, until I wrote this right now…I didn’t even consider that her uncles were watching me.


Let that shit sink in…


See, I want to ask you a question. Is it more relevant to you to be right or to accomplish your goals?


I watch salespeople all the time talking about how the customer was an idiot or confrontational. I hear stories from people sharing their version of heartache on social media without context. 


I wonder, “but did you get what you wanted?”


I don’t know about you…but being right isn’t nearly as satisfying as getting the results I want. Don’t get me wrong…that shit stings like a bitch, but I have much larger plans than proving to others where they fall short in their assessment of our situation.


I’ve learned that I can be right and lose the fight…or I can let them say and win the day. As people come closer to your inner circle, those percentages change, so this isn’t a hard and fast rule. 


Trust me when I say that proving you’re right to someone who needs your help often leads to no opportunity to SHOW them you’re right.


Lead from the front. Let people win battles while you’re focused on the war…


Until next time, I’ll see ya’ in the trenches!


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